


Uncertainty

by Arcangelo



Series: Malec Short Fics [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Malec, Maryse Lightwood's A+ Parenting, Not Beta Read, Pre-Slash, Protect Alec Lightwood 2k16, Robert Lightwood's A+ Parenting, The Clave Can Go To Hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 23:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6259846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcangelo/pseuds/Arcangelo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec was wandering aimlessly when he found himself outside of Magnus' apartment, he didn't expect anything to come out of being invited when. When he was met with nothing but compassion and understanding, the feelings that Izzy claimed were going to explode, finally did, leaving Magnus to pick up the pieces. The Warlock didn't mind, as long as he had the beautiful hazel-eyed Shadowhunter in his arms, even just for a moment of platonic comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uncertainty

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a post that I replied to on [Tumblr](http://thecircleleader.tumblr.com/post/141096744351/butterflywingednight-chestofletters-is-alec) When someone asked if Alec was in love with Jace or not (Shadowhunters). So, I thought why not write a small fanfiction about Magnus having this conversation with Alec somewhere during the show before 1x09

Alec somehow found himself outside of the warlock’s ― Magnus Bane’s ― apartment late at night. He was wandering aimlessly, still unsettled from the revelations about his sexuality during the summoning of the memory demon Valack.

Before he knew it, he was outside Magnus’ apartment, not knowing how he got there. Something about Magnus called to him like a beacon, the way he was so unashamed of his sexuality, who he was with, his flamboyancy. He wore his bisexuality ― from which Alec assumed seeing as he claimed to have slept with Michelangelo, yet he was lovers with the vampire female Camille ― with a sign of pride which made Alec green with envy.

He could never be himself, no one but Izzy, Clary and Magnus noticed his sexuality, not even his parabatai, although he was sure on some levels that Jace knew. People underestimated Jace, Alec was aware of that. Jace was very intelligent, somewhat oblivious at times and arrogant to a fault but he was caring.

He rocked on his toes, not knowing if he should walk away or press the buzzer that he was sure Magnus would let him in. Alec decided the latter, hesitating for only a few seconds before pressing the button.

“WHO DARES DISTURB THE HIGH WARLOCK?!” Magnus voice boomed through the intercom, making Alec jump, startled at such a loud voice before he blushed brightly. He was a Shadowhunter, Alec thought, yet he was startled by a loud voice.

Alec paused, butterflies fluttering in his stomach, making him feel slightly nauseous.

“Seriously, if you are Jehovah’s Witnesses…”

The Shadowhunter wiped his palms against his jeans and spoke softly, with a hint of nervousness. “It’s A–Alec, Alec Lightwood.”

Magnus’ tone completely changed hearing the cute stutters of the beautiful Nephilim boy who he had been infatuated with as soon as he saw him. “Oh! Alexander, come on up.”

He heard the buzzer unlock the door, pushing down his nerves and started to walk up the stairs stopping when he saw a M. Bane sign on the front door. He was about to push open the door before it swung open, Magnus was not in his usual flamboyant and loud glory. Although, he had to admit that Magnus looked beautiful with all of the makeup and extravagant clothes, his natural face ― without all of the makeup and copious amounts of glitter ― he was a natural beauty, stunning even.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, surprised, gesturing Alec to the couch where he was watching Project Runway on. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I don’t know, I–I just needed someone to talk to.”

Magnus smiled at Alec and nodded in understanding, he knew exactly why Alec was here and he felt bad for him. Coming out can be frightening, although Magnus doesn’t think anyone knows except Alec’s sister, being outed during a ritual that was against his consent, was even worse. Magnus didn’t push him even when they were sitting in silence for more than ten minutes, he was going to be patient with Alec.

“What am I going to do?” Alec asked solemnly.

“I don’t know what I can tell you Alexander,” Magnus said looking him in the eye not even having to ask what Alec was talking about. “I know of your society’s homophobia and the consequences of coming out. It’s probably even worse, being gay to them than being with a downworlder, however, do you want to forever be in the closet, miserable and alone. Or, do you want to finally be yourself? Maybe your parents won’t accept you, but you have your siblings.”

“Jace,”

“The blond, arrogant one that I dubbed ‘Goldilocks’ I’m assuming who you are talking about?”

“Yes,”

“What about Jace?” Magnus says, picking up Chairman Meow, petting his fur.

“I am stupidly in love with an obviously straight person,” Alec started to say before he saw Magnus hold his hand up in a universal sign to hold up. “I am not doubting your feelings Alexander, but are you really in love with Jace or the idea of Jace?”

Alec furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before replying defensively. “Of course, I’m in love with Jace!”

“Hear me out,” Magnus said in a placating tone. “Are you in love with Jace, truly in love with him, or are you convinced you’re in love with him because he was the only person ― specifically being male ― who wasn’t technically your family when you discovered your sexuality?”

Magnus waited for that to sink in, seeing the stricken expression on Alec’s face shot pain in his heart, igniting feelings that he hasn’t felt for a very long time. “I’m not saying this because I would love to be with you Alexander, I am saying this for your own well being. Are you truly in love with Jace or do you just love him platonically, with you assuming the love you feel for him is anything more than platonic?”

“I’m not saying this to hurt you, Alexander, that is the last thing I want,” Magnus said sadly seeing tears welled into his beautiful hazel eyes, so similar but at the same time different from his usual type, but they are magnificent. He had never thought much on hazel eyes until he had seen Alec’s which were more expressive, more lively. They were full of different shades of colours. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore than it already has. Your love for Jace cannot be denied, a blind man could see it, but are you mistaking Parabatai bond feelings for romantic feelings?”

Alec tried to stop the tears from falling, hearing Magnus’ words, he knew that Magnus was only trying to say this to protect him from any more hurt that being ‘in love’ with Jace has caused him over the years, but hearing someone else say it, bluntly without sugarcoating it sliced through him more than any weapon could. If Alec was going to be honest with himself, he wasn’t sure if he was really in love with Jace. He had always assumed what he was feeling for Jace was love, romantic love. He couldn’t deny that he used to have a crush on Jace, but his feelings for Magnus, while not love surpassed Jace tenfold.

Alec felt arms wrap around in a tight hug, he clung onto the warmth that Magnus provided sobbing unknowingly from all the surpressed feelings since he had discovered his homosexuality. Every denial, always trying to please his mother and father, The Clave, even Izzy. He didn’t think he was strong enough to do it on his own anymore.

“Shh..” Magnus said soothingly, kissing Alec’s forehead tenderly. “It will be okay, I will make sure of it.”

For some reason, Alec found himself believing Magnus.

**Author's Note:**

> Some parts of this (two parts of the dialogue) is derived from The Bane Chronicles: What to Buy the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything (And Who You’re Not Officially Dating Anyway) #8


End file.
